Posts by Sail Away

Your dinner and the wine would remind her, how nice it would be - to stay at home and maybe watch the convention on the PC or TV. After all the convention talks about "showing love like jesus" it would be great to show her the "real love".

^This^

Zeb, I absolutely agree with what FastJehu said. I was in your wife's shoes for over thirty years. If you love your wife, you will try to be empathetic. She is being verbally abused for the entire weekend-- told she is a worthless speck of dust, what she says and does is never good enough and she needs to do more. They even tell us when to stand up and when to sit down for crying out loud!

One of my husbands major complaints was that I came home from assemblies and conventions cranky and exhausted. Who wouldn't be after driving for over two hours each way, trying to quiet crying children for an entire weekend, staying at a crappy hotel an hour or more away from the convention site, sitting in traffic, etc.?

My husband wanted me to have dinner before I came home. The last thing I wanted to do was go out to a loud restaurant and wait for food. I just wanted to go home. As a JW submissive wife (read indoctrinated), I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted. My job was to put up and shut up.

Now when I come home after traveling and Mr. SailAway is home, I ask him to make me a plate with fruit, cheese and crackers with a glass of wine. I'm happy, and he is happy. If you can't be home when Mrs. Zeb gets home, because it's just too hard and you would rather go fishing, please leave her a nice plate with her drink of choice and a little love note. It will go a long way. Trust me.

25

Crises of conscience

by Deltawave in

i have just read the book crises of conscience in less than 3days!

i could not put it down!

even in front of my jw wife and her family.

Sail Away

Deltawave, welcome to the forum!

Yes, reading CoC will do that to you, but please put on the brakes and slow way down! Do some reading here on the forum. Learn about fading (slowly reducing meeting attendance and field service to avoid calling attention to your exit in order to avoid getting disfellowshipped and to preserve family relationships). Read about the BITE method of cult mind control, and read books and watch videos by Steven Hassan about Combating Cult Mind Control and the Strategic Interaction Approach to freeing your wife from mind control. Confronting your wife so suddenly may be the end of your marriage.

There will be plenty of posters who will advise you further!

https://www.freedomofmind.com/

https://www.freedomofmind.com/Media/SIA.php

SailAway

26

Want to share your thoughts on JWs?

by punkofnice in

jw
friends

well, it's been a long while since i last visited here.

i've been doing this and that...you know....lugubrious life and all.. i am interested in collating views from all types of people about jws, albeit non jws, ex jws....anyone associated with jws who wants to share their viewpoint.

later on i'd like to self publish these collected interviews but cannot offer any money as the project is more about giving people an opportunity to speak, help, whatever, rather than make a best seller.

Sail Away

• Name/Pseudonym: Sail Away

• Gender: Female

• Country: USA

• Were/are you a JW? (Pick one): Yes, I was a JW.

• How were/are you associated with JWs:

Other (Please state): My father accepted a family study when I was nine years old. By age 10 I became an unbaptized publisher. My entire family stopped studying with the witnesses within two years, but I stayed in and was baptized at age 16 in 1975 with my father’s permission.

• How long were you a JW? (If applicable): 42 years

• What drew you to the JWs? The witnesses target vulnerable, idealistic people. I was drawn in by their promise of a happy family life. My mother was/is mentally ill and my father was an alcoholic and serial cheater who couldn’t keep a job. We were at times homeless.

• What do/did you enjoy about being a JW? I thought I was pleasing God.

• What is your best/fondest memory? Working in food service during assemblies and conventions gave me a sense of belonging and made me feel needed.

• What is your funniest memory?

One day out in the field ministry a much-loved elder/pioneer came back to the car stammering, wide-eyed and speechless. A man was out mowing the lawn, and his wife jumped out from behind a bush to surprise him wearing only a raincoat. She opened the raincoat for the elder thinking he was her hubby. The elder’s wife (also a pioneer) was in the car group, and she laughed hysterically. The elder did not say another word for the rest of the morning.

• If alive in 1975 as a JW, do you remember it? What are you memories as a JW?

I remember reading in the Watchtower that I would never be old enough to graduate from college, get married or have children before Armageddon came. I remember the increased pressure and talks from the platform to do more in the ministry, as the time was short and so many lives were at stake. There were articles in the Watchtower magazine about the 6,000 years of mankind’s existence which helped mark the year 1975. I gave up a college scholarship to pioneer where the need was great out of high school, as higher education was forbidden. I remember the articles afterward about not serving with a date in view and how some were overzealous. I remember people who went into debt by spending money they didn’t have, because they thought they wouldn’t have to pay back the loans when Armageddon came. Mostly I remember nightmares about my family being destroyed at Armageddon and being raped and tortured in a concentration camp for being loyal to Jehovah.

• Can you think of anything positive or good to say about the watchtower organization?

It served as my substitute family during my pre-teen and teen years and added structure to my life, perhaps saving me from alcoholism and drug addiction which was the path most of my siblings took.

• Do you believe the JWs have the ‘truth’? Absolutely not

• Would you recommend being a JW and why do you answer thus?

I would in no way recommend becoming a JW. The organization is a destructive high control group (cult) that destroys human potential by forbidding higher education, destroys families by its disfellowshipping doctrine and mandatory shunning, puts lives at risk due to the ban on blood transfusions and protects pedophiles by implementing the “two-witness rule” and treating child molestation as a sin to be handled by the congregation elders rather than a crime that needs to be reported to and handled by the proper authorities. The organization lies to its members and prints revisionist history to cover its tracks.

• Please tell us what you want us to know about being a JW.

I suffered a life time of severe clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a JW in large part due to the doctrines, beliefs and practices of the organization. Cognitive dissonance nearly killed me. Mishandling of a personal crisis in my son’s life by the elders nearly killed him. He is now disfellowshipped, and I was expected to shun him. That just wasn’t going to happen.

I have been out for nearly four years now and am medication free and happy. The organization interferes in marriages and family lives with all of its rules and heavy demands on time and resources. It isolates people with the Us vs.Them mentality that “worldly people” (including non-believing family members) are under Satan’s control and wicked. My immediate family is all out of the organization, and we have mended the rifts caused by the organization. My in-laws are still in and have continued to shun their only son, my husband, for over 30 years. They now shun me and our children as well and have no interest in getting to know their first great grandchild—all because we left the organization.

60

Are You "Technically" Still A Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

even if you don't regard yourself as a practicing jw, some may view you simply as inactive, a lost sheep, etc.. if you were baptized but not disfellowshipped or disassociated, you may still be a jw---right?

your thoughts please..

Sail Away

I walked away after the 2011 District Convention of 'the toes in Daniel's dream image mean nothing' fame. Not DF'd, won't DA. I have not received the obligatory once a year "shepherding call" from my two-elder hit team, nor have I received a "Memorial invitation" in two years. My neighbor reports that when JWs come to the neighborhood, they skip my door. I don't know if I'm considered "inactive" or a "known apostate", and I don't care.

Mr. Sail Away (posts as Bethel Mayflower on Reddit) faded over 30 years ago before we knew what fading was. He was "marked" for playing a sport too competitively at a congregation picnic many years ago. The elders consider him a "known apostate", but could never get the goods on him. He was always careful about what he said/didn't say, and I was not willing to rat him out.

27

How Some Climb Up So Quickly?!!

by Sofia Lose in

our current co has not been in the org all that long, less than 10 years, and already quite a respected overseer.

i know of a few married couples in the spanish congs that are doing everything right, you know, with the theocratic schooling, the pioneering, etc., and... nothing!.

how do some seem to reach certain posts so damn quick, while others cannot make it?!

Sail Away

Is this the CO that was a born in, got DF'd, got a college degree (MIT I think) and then got guilted into coming back by a comment from a little older sister? If so, he was the substitute CO that I served lunch to as my last act in the organization. I didn't go to any meetings or field service during his visit. I was done.

44

Is it possible to use this thread to compile watchtowers Armageddon illustrations

by jambon1 in

jw
friends

i was informed today by a jw that the watchtower doesn't use images and propaganda to instil fear.

i would really like to see a compilation of all their armageddon illustrations.

maybe a thread or web page already exists that had this content.. the one i am really wanting is the most recent picture of the witnesses in the basement during the tribulation.. this will be a massive help so thank you..

Sail Away

nicolaou

Good thread! Can I ask a favour? Would anyone posting a picture also include the date and publication?

betterdaze, I recognised none of your illustrations. Are they really all Watchtower artwork?

I recognize all but one (probably a newer one; I've been out four years now) of betterdaze's illustrations as WT artwork. Citations would be helpful.

I'm traveling now, so I can't post any illustrations. Maybe someone can post the flood scene from My Book of Bible Stories.

27

To My Generation: Jehovah's Witnesses of the Vietnam War Era

by Hold Me-Thrill Me in

jw
friends

to my generation: jehovah's witnesses of the vietnam war era .

if you were a young brother in the late 60's you then remember the burden of the draft and the prospect of going to jail for refusing on religious grounds to be called up.

in those days we were taught that to do community service was conscientiously the same as joining the military and so we were told to refuse such exemptions.

Sail Away

Frank, I echo the sentiments of others. Why wait any longer? You have the answers to your questions.

I love the way you describe those times! Every word you wrote is truthful. I remember the six-month bible studies in "The Truth book". I got baptized at age 16 in 1975. I declined a college scholarship to go pioneer where the need was great. At 19, I married far too young to a man I didn't know. We only dated for three months. All I knew was he was a former pioneer (during the Vietnam years) and had been a ministerial servant in his Bethel congregation. I was told he would make a good spiritual head.

I walked away from the organization after the district convention in the summer of 2011 at age 52. I didn't learn TTAT until that fall. My husband left 30 years earlier and only learned TTAT after I did. The organization put a horrible strain on our marriage and family all those years. Life is too short. Live it as a free man.

69

Average Age of this Forum?

by Garrett in

jw
friends

heyo!.

i'm quite interested in knowing the average age of those of us who use this forum.

i made a quick strawpoll that you can find at the following link: http://strawpoll.me/4340636 just pick an age and click "vote" if you wish to participate.. admins: if this breaks any rules, i apologize in advance..

Sail Away

56, a brand new grandma and lovin' it!

37

Seems very easy to leave now, why do people hesitate?

by Xanthippe in

when i see people on here saying they've looked on several sites before this one, jwfacts, jwstruggle, youtube, etc., and then they make friends here, sometimes meeting up with ex-jws, it seems incredibly easy compared to leaving in 1989. .

no internet, no amazon to find ex-jw books, no facebook to link up with ex-jw groups.

still people find it so hard to leave.

Sail Away

I left because I refused to shun my disfellowshipped son. I was the last one in my family in. I walked away after 42 years, not even knowing TTAT. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My lifelong "friends" stopped initiating contact after 5 months of nearly daily phone calls, visits, letters, emails, texts, etc. They all shun me now, but we have our family intact except my diehard JW in-laws. Sadly, there is no easy way out.